Honoring Different Paths
SUMMARY
No judgment, but we’ve all been judgy, right? In this episode, we tackle the unfortunately universal experience of misunderstanding and judgment – both the giving and receiving – and how we can better engage with authentic empathy and understanding. Join us as we discuss ways to better learn each other’s stories, honor other paths, and ultimately love and accept each individual as they are, no matter where they’re walking.
REFERENCES
We don’t see people as they are, we see people as we are.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- The judgments we make about other people are about where we are.
- We use judgment as a shield from vulnerability or as a hotwire for connection, and both are inauthentic.
- We all have ugly emotions, and judgment is both an avoidance and a manifestation of our ugly emotions.
- You can’t be in judgment of someone else without also being in judgment of yourself.
- Assuming that every person is doing their personal best releases you from the burden of expectation – toward other people and toward yourself.
- Assuming the good and believing that there is more to someone’s story is the starting spark for true empathy.
- All our circumstances are neutral – it is our thoughts that change our reality or perception.
- If we want to change, we first have to own where we actually are with judgment toward other people.
- The things that bother you about other people are an opportunity to learn what is still unhealed in yourself.
- Genuinely learning, caring, and understanding why someone does something takes us out of ego and into empathy.
- Accepting other people as they are allows you to accept yourself as you are.
- Non-judgment is a gift of trust.
- No matter how well we know someone, we can’t know exactly what they need or how even a misstep will benefit them on their journey.
- Pure love is wanting someone to grow for their own sake in their own way, not because it’s easier for you or your life, or happening the way you think it should.
- Don’t own what’s not yours.
- The more that we accept others exactly as they are, the more capable we are of loving and accepting ourselves exactly as we are.
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION
- When something frustrates me about someone else, what does this reveal about where I am?
- When I don’t understand someone else’s choice, why is this choice important to them?
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
“Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown
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Read along on the blog or book a coaching session with McKell – http://untojoy.com
